Grief, loss and the ways we carry them are deeply personal, but they’re also themes that have inspired some of comics’ most powerful stories. For its latest Picture + Panel discussion, the Boston Comic Arts Foundation brought together cartoonists Alex Krokus and Damian Alexander for a conversation about processing death and grief through their work, drawing on both their creative approaches and deeply personal experiences.
Damian Alexander is a cartoonist and storyteller who grew up around Boston. He created the graphic novels Hand-Me-Down, Other Boys and Absolutely Everything. When Damian isn’t doodling or making comics, he can be found rearranging his dollhouse and caring for his terrariums. Damian lives in New England with his husband and their cat and dog.
Alex Krokus is a cartoonist and animator based out of Brooklyn, New York. His work has been published by VICE, Buzzfeed, the New York Times, Comedy Central, the Tribeca Film Festival, and the Food and Drug Administration. The latest volume of his webcomic series, Loud & Smart, was published by Silver Sprocket in a volume titled Loudest & Smartest.
Our thanks as always to Gina Gagliano and Jason Viola, who organize the monthly series in Boston and brought this Q&A series to Smash Pages.
How did you first come to be dealing with a death in your family?
Alex Krokus: I’ve lost grandparents when I was younger but the death of my father was the first time I felt an immense absence in my life. Talking To My Father’s Ghost is an exploration of my first year of grief.
Damian Alexander: My mom was murdered.
Why did you start making comics about death in your family?
Damian: I wanted to share my experiences with grief and help others dealing with loss feel less alone.
Alex: I started working on my proposal for Talking To My Father’s Ghost shortly after he passed. I was working on a proposal for a much less personal book and immediately shifted gears because I felt I had something to say (and process).
How is death in your family integrated into your work as a whole?
Alex: I tend to write stories about characters who have experienced loss in some form.
Damian: A lot of my work is autobiographical so when a recurring character in my work died, it directly affected the comic.
How has having death in your family shaped who you are today?
Damian: I have PTSD.
Alex: I have only been without my father for five years, but the change was immense. It’s embarrassing for a man in his 30s to say this, but I felt like I grew up a lot after he passed.
What misconceptions have you found people have about dealing with death in the family?
Alex: The 5 Stages of Grief isn’t a linear path. Sometimes you backtrack. One day, you feel like you’re making process and then other days, you’ll feel back at square one.
Damian: People think there are too many movies and books with dead parents, but the ones with living parents greatly outweigh them. People just tend to see the things that they deem abnormal as standing out.
Are there other media about death in the family that has inspired your work?
Damian: My favorite movie growing up was Lilo & Stitch because I connected with Lilo’s loss of her parents.
Alex: My favs include Fun Home by Alison Bechdel, Crying In H-Mart by Michelle Zauner and Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom. All these of those influences how I wrote Talking To My Father’s Ghost.
If you could recommend one other graphic novel about death in the family to people who love your work, what would it be (and why)?
Damian: Dancing at the Pity Party by Tyler Feder comes to mind because it echoed a lot of my own feelings about losing a parent.